A few months ago I made a stupid mistake. I’m not gonna tell you what it was, I’m actually ashamed of it and I don’t want it ever to happen again. However, someone that I vaguely know found out about it. A few days ago, when I saw him, he kept on telling this to other people I don’t even know yet. This way, all those people have a bad point of view even before they met me! But I’m not here to whine about this guy in particular, I’m trying to explain why I don’t like gossip in general.

To make clear to you what I mean with gossip, I found a dictionary definition: idle talk, usually about other people’s private lives, esp. of a disapproving or malicious nature. This kind of talk will give the speaker power over the victim. However, in my eyes, the speaker also tries to get attention or approval from the listener by telling bad things about people behind their backs. It’s ok to chat about who’s in love and who kissed who, if you feel like doing that. But sometimes you just got to know where the line is.

Speaking gossip is in my point of view a DLV (demonstration of lower value). Though you have something interesting to tell, you harm someone by telling it. This is socially not accepted. It also means that all the interesting things you have, are actually things that didn’t even happen to yourself. On the other hand, being able to tell things about yourself is a DHV (demonstration of higher value).

So, here’s an example. Consider two people, Tim and Susan. They’ve been in love for some time now. I’ll give you two options and you can choose what you’ll tell. One day you walk up to their house and you see them having dirty sex with a goat! What would you tell? I’d leave out the goat, and probably the dirty too, depending on who I’m talking with. If you’re telling it to mutual friends you can tell more than when you’re telling it to someone not so familiar.